A friend asked me to write something about taking medication that could help others see it's not a bad idea, that it's actually a helpful thing. Here is what I wrote...enjoy!
The Fear of Medication
Have you ever felt like you’re walking around in an emotional blinding fog? Have you ever felt so lost that you were sure you could never be found? Have you been so close to the edge, fearing your foot will slip? Those are very real fears and very scary things to think about. Just as scary as thinking about taking a medication that can help you. Trust me, I’ve had fears of taking medication most of my life. I never wanted to, but I knew I had to, to find some kind of stable ground before it parted and swallowed me whole.
Just because you’re taking medication, doesn’t mean your life is going to be perfect. There are so many fears of taking medications and trust me, I’ve felt them. I have many fears I hold onto and refuse to let go of, simply because I’m not sure what the outcome will be.
For years I was against taking medication for depression. For years I told myself they would numb my head and I wouldn’t be able to write. As the years passed and I got older, I came to the realization that even if you walk around in that emotional blinding fog, all the medication will do is clear your vision so you can see where you’re going. It’s not going to wipe every bad thought away, it won’t stop you from biting your nails when anxiety starts to build. It will help you see that even though you’re surrounded by life and problems and pain and hurt and anger, the medication clears your head enough that you can sigh and say, “Ok. I think I can make it today.” And when you notice the fog coming back and your vision is becoming blurry, this is when you take that step and talk to your counselor or doctor and let them know. They will do what is best for you.
I understand that the thought of taking a pill each day because you’re depressed and can’t function in life can suck. Trust me, I never wanted to be the one who has to have a medication holder that has the days of the week with their own box. Those are only for older people who take more than one pill a day. Sadly, I’m one of those people, and it’s not because I take just one, oh no, I take way more than one. I have to have the week pill holder so I can remember if I took them or not. That’s kinda sad! I’m here to tell you; even though you may have that fear of losing your personality or being ashamed for taking medication, it’s the exact opposite. You won’t lose your personality, in fact, it will give you one. And if you feel ashamed for taking medication, it’s your life. You don’t have to tell anyone that you’re taking it. That is totally your choice.
Taking medication can do things for you that you may never thought were possible. You will feel human again, you will get the desires you had lost back, and most of all, you will have the support you need to keep you on the right track. And remember, you won’t be taking them forever. Therapy and medication can work. You just have to be the one to make the decision if it’s something you’re willing to try.
© 2013 Jen Teal
