A friend asked me to write something about taking medication that could help others see it's not a bad idea, that it's actually a helpful thing. Here is what I wrote...enjoy!
The Fear of Medication
Have you ever felt like you’re walking around in an emotional blinding fog? Have you ever felt so lost that you were sure you could never be found? Have you been so close to the edge, fearing your foot will slip? Those are very real fears and very scary things to think about. Just as scary as thinking about taking a medication that can help you. Trust me, I’ve had fears of taking medication most of my life. I never wanted to, but I knew I had to, to find some kind of stable ground before it parted and swallowed me whole.
Just because you’re taking medication, doesn’t mean your life is going to be perfect. There are so many fears of taking medications and trust me, I’ve felt them. I have many fears I hold onto and refuse to let go of, simply because I’m not sure what the outcome will be.
For years I was against taking medication for depression. For years I told myself they would numb my head and I wouldn’t be able to write. As the years passed and I got older, I came to the realization that even if you walk around in that emotional blinding fog, all the medication will do is clear your vision so you can see where you’re going. It’s not going to wipe every bad thought away, it won’t stop you from biting your nails when anxiety starts to build. It will help you see that even though you’re surrounded by life and problems and pain and hurt and anger, the medication clears your head enough that you can sigh and say, “Ok. I think I can make it today.” And when you notice the fog coming back and your vision is becoming blurry, this is when you take that step and talk to your counselor or doctor and let them know. They will do what is best for you.
I understand that the thought of taking a pill each day because you’re depressed and can’t function in life can suck. Trust me, I never wanted to be the one who has to have a medication holder that has the days of the week with their own box. Those are only for older people who take more than one pill a day. Sadly, I’m one of those people, and it’s not because I take just one, oh no, I take way more than one. I have to have the week pill holder so I can remember if I took them or not. That’s kinda sad! I’m here to tell you; even though you may have that fear of losing your personality or being ashamed for taking medication, it’s the exact opposite. You won’t lose your personality, in fact, it will give you one. And if you feel ashamed for taking medication, it’s your life. You don’t have to tell anyone that you’re taking it. That is totally your choice.
Taking medication can do things for you that you may never thought were possible. You will feel human again, you will get the desires you had lost back, and most of all, you will have the support you need to keep you on the right track. And remember, you won’t be taking them forever. Therapy and medication can work. You just have to be the one to make the decision if it’s something you’re willing to try.
© 2013 Jen Teal
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Friday, December 21, 2012
I'm Someone Too
The other day, I was out having lunch with a friend. We went to McDonald's and as much as I had fun, there were a few ladies who sat down a couple tables from us. Two of them had mental disabilities and one of them was in a wheelchair. I looked at her often, my heart breaking and understanding her world each time I did. For the rest of the day, the picture of her not being able to feed herself, not being able to have a conversation with anyone with words, never left my mind or heart.
That evening, as it was too cold to sit at my computer, I went to bed. Upon doing so, I got a pad of paper and a pen and I started to write. Very rarely do I write anything on paper, but only because I type as fast as my mind can think it. So after writing it, I got on my phone and I emailed it to my writing teacher. She wrote back and called it a gem. She said she hoped I would bring it to class today, Friday. So I printed it out. I thought I would share it here. I have no idea who, if anyone, reads my blogs. So please enjoy and I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed Christmas.
You live in a home. I live in a chair. You can take a shower. I get no privacy. You can make your own lunch, dinner and even breakfast. I rely on someone not forgetting to feed me. You drive to your job. I sit in my chair and I'm told where I'm going.
From the youngest I can remember, I have lived in a home I wasn't born in. I see my parents when it's convenient for them. My brother and sister talk to me when they visit, but when my head drops and my eyes close, they leave mad thinking I was bored of them. What they don't understand is that the control they have over their body, I lost before I was born.
Growing up where I wasn't wanted hurt me. No one knows because you see, I can't talk. I can't look you in the eye and talk to you. I'm called a freak because my only form of communication is yelling. And it's not my fault. No one cares when I cry because they figure I'm just tired. Between you and me, I cry for the person I will never be. But they are right too, I am tired of being looked at funny, being ignored or being told to move, them not realizing I can't.
I will never be like you. I hope you are never like me. Just please remember, all I want is to be treated like a person. I have feelings, they get hurt. You live in a home. I live in a chair. We may never see eye to eye, but we both have a heart giving us life. Don't destroy mine just because you think I'm worthless. I'm someone too.
© December 2012 Jen Teal
That evening, as it was too cold to sit at my computer, I went to bed. Upon doing so, I got a pad of paper and a pen and I started to write. Very rarely do I write anything on paper, but only because I type as fast as my mind can think it. So after writing it, I got on my phone and I emailed it to my writing teacher. She wrote back and called it a gem. She said she hoped I would bring it to class today, Friday. So I printed it out. I thought I would share it here. I have no idea who, if anyone, reads my blogs. So please enjoy and I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed Christmas.
I'm Someone Too
You live in a home. I live in a chair. You can take a shower. I get no privacy. You can make your own lunch, dinner and even breakfast. I rely on someone not forgetting to feed me. You drive to your job. I sit in my chair and I'm told where I'm going.
From the youngest I can remember, I have lived in a home I wasn't born in. I see my parents when it's convenient for them. My brother and sister talk to me when they visit, but when my head drops and my eyes close, they leave mad thinking I was bored of them. What they don't understand is that the control they have over their body, I lost before I was born.
Growing up where I wasn't wanted hurt me. No one knows because you see, I can't talk. I can't look you in the eye and talk to you. I'm called a freak because my only form of communication is yelling. And it's not my fault. No one cares when I cry because they figure I'm just tired. Between you and me, I cry for the person I will never be. But they are right too, I am tired of being looked at funny, being ignored or being told to move, them not realizing I can't.
I will never be like you. I hope you are never like me. Just please remember, all I want is to be treated like a person. I have feelings, they get hurt. You live in a home. I live in a chair. We may never see eye to eye, but we both have a heart giving us life. Don't destroy mine just because you think I'm worthless. I'm someone too.
© December 2012 Jen Teal
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
I Love You More
After the sadness that rocked the country of the mass taking of children, I sat down at my computer and let my heart cry....these are the words that came from my heart...
This morning I walked into your room to see your little body lying under your favorite Batman blanket. I sit down on your bed and slowly pull the blanket away from your face. I kiss your cheek good morning before running my hand through your hair. I softly tell you it’s time to get up, it’s a school day. Stirring, you rub your eyes and smile up at me.
I help you pick out what you want to wear. Batman has always been your favorite. I tell you I’ll meet you downstairs and that your breakfast will be waiting. You say, “Okay mom.” Trampling down the stairs, you run into the kitchen and jump onto your chair. Time has gotten away from us so I urge you to eat fast. Before I know it, you’re at the sink with your cereal bowl. I tell you to grab your backpack, I’ll meet you in the car.
Driving up to your school, I see the line of parents waiting to drop your friends off. You tell me you’re a big boy now and that you can walk into school without me. I sigh and you reach over the console and give me a hug and kiss. You tell me you love me, I tell you I love you more.
Not even an hour later, my phone rings. It’s your school. I answer with a cheery hello, only to receive a tearful reply. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to tell you.” I urge her to go on as the boulder forms in my stomach. “There was…there was a…there was a gunman…” Panic. Fear. Anger. Sadness; everything I felt before I heard that children have been shot. I turn my car around and race back to your school. I slam on the brakes when I arrive and race inside. Without understanding why, a police officer stops me, he won’t allow me in. I scream at him, “MY CHILD IS INSIDE!!!” He calmly tells me I need to go to the fire station; that is where all the parents and kids are going for safety. Once again, I run to the car and drive as quickly so I can to find you waiting for me. I park the car and run inside to find parents and friends waiting for information, and police officers. I run to my friend and ask her what she knows. All she can do is hug me and cry. I walk to the police officer who is close by and ask him about you. He tells me to wait, that there will be updated news soon.
It feels like time went in slow motion until the Police Chief walked in and asked us all to have a seat. He begins by telling us that a young man walked into the school and then a classroom and began shooting. When he says your teacher’s name, I drop to the ground, shaking, screaming, crying. The world goes silent as the sound of my shattering heart deafens me. As I open my eyes, I see a sea of shattered hearts.
My son, you are now gone. Some man who didn’t love anyone, came to your school and took you away from your daddy and me. Tonight, I won’t give you a bath or read you a story before bed. I won’t kiss you goodnight, or awake. I won’t be able to fix you your favorite breakfast, lunch or dinner. Daddy can’t play catch with you or play Batman and Robin. The Christmas tree we planned to get this weekend will no longer be ours. Because this man hated himself, our Christmases will never be the same.
You had such a giving heart, and I know what you would tell me to do. “Mommy, my presents…please give them to a little boy like me, so he can have a merry Christmas.” I just don’t know if I can do this. There is one I will forever keep; the photo Daddy took of you and me on your 6th birthday.
The day you were born, my dreams for you were strong and true. The day you died, those dreams shattered.
Rest in the arms of Jesus my son, knowing you will be forever missed. And please, never forget, I will always love you more.
© 12-15-12 JenT
I Love You More
I help you pick out what you want to wear. Batman has always been your favorite. I tell you I’ll meet you downstairs and that your breakfast will be waiting. You say, “Okay mom.” Trampling down the stairs, you run into the kitchen and jump onto your chair. Time has gotten away from us so I urge you to eat fast. Before I know it, you’re at the sink with your cereal bowl. I tell you to grab your backpack, I’ll meet you in the car.
Driving up to your school, I see the line of parents waiting to drop your friends off. You tell me you’re a big boy now and that you can walk into school without me. I sigh and you reach over the console and give me a hug and kiss. You tell me you love me, I tell you I love you more.
Not even an hour later, my phone rings. It’s your school. I answer with a cheery hello, only to receive a tearful reply. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to tell you.” I urge her to go on as the boulder forms in my stomach. “There was…there was a…there was a gunman…” Panic. Fear. Anger. Sadness; everything I felt before I heard that children have been shot. I turn my car around and race back to your school. I slam on the brakes when I arrive and race inside. Without understanding why, a police officer stops me, he won’t allow me in. I scream at him, “MY CHILD IS INSIDE!!!” He calmly tells me I need to go to the fire station; that is where all the parents and kids are going for safety. Once again, I run to the car and drive as quickly so I can to find you waiting for me. I park the car and run inside to find parents and friends waiting for information, and police officers. I run to my friend and ask her what she knows. All she can do is hug me and cry. I walk to the police officer who is close by and ask him about you. He tells me to wait, that there will be updated news soon.
It feels like time went in slow motion until the Police Chief walked in and asked us all to have a seat. He begins by telling us that a young man walked into the school and then a classroom and began shooting. When he says your teacher’s name, I drop to the ground, shaking, screaming, crying. The world goes silent as the sound of my shattering heart deafens me. As I open my eyes, I see a sea of shattered hearts.
My son, you are now gone. Some man who didn’t love anyone, came to your school and took you away from your daddy and me. Tonight, I won’t give you a bath or read you a story before bed. I won’t kiss you goodnight, or awake. I won’t be able to fix you your favorite breakfast, lunch or dinner. Daddy can’t play catch with you or play Batman and Robin. The Christmas tree we planned to get this weekend will no longer be ours. Because this man hated himself, our Christmases will never be the same.
You had such a giving heart, and I know what you would tell me to do. “Mommy, my presents…please give them to a little boy like me, so he can have a merry Christmas.” I just don’t know if I can do this. There is one I will forever keep; the photo Daddy took of you and me on your 6th birthday.
The day you were born, my dreams for you were strong and true. The day you died, those dreams shattered.
Rest in the arms of Jesus my son, knowing you will be forever missed. And please, never forget, I will always love you more.
© 12-15-12 JenT
Monday, December 3, 2012
Just my thoughts
In a short 24 days, I will wake up to my 18th Christmas without my Grandma. I don’t remember very many Christmases with her, because my other grandma always took us away from her. There isn’t a day that goes by that my grandma isn’t in my thoughts. She was such a strong woman. She was a woman who loved God with everything she had. I’ve always felt sad because I know I’ve disappointed her. I don’t know if people in Heaven can look down and see us. And the reason I don’t know, is because the only feeling in Heaven is happiness. There are no tears in Heaven. There are days I think about when I die or Jesus comes back, and that’s the end. This life isn’t a book that we just close when we die and then open it again when we’re born and our parents take care of us. I look around my room and see all the memories I have surrounding me. Almost everything in here I could tell you who gave it to me and why. I have some very dear friends that I truly wish would find God and serve Him. My biggest concern is my brothers and their families. I was told in church today that God chose me to be a Believer. Boy have I let Him down.
But seriously, when we die, that’s it. There is no middle ground. You’re either in Heaven or hell. Both are real places. I guess the question I wish I could ask people, my friends, my family, if they know where they’re going when they die. I have a couple friends who joke about going to hell. I find it very difficult to laugh at that. Simply because I know it’s a real place and that unbelievers go there. I believe that God is a just God and a God of mercy. I truly wish I had a heart like my mom’s and my grandma’s. I wish I could care more about their life and where they’ll go, then my possible mess up in doing just that.
I’ve gone to the same church for nearly 30 years. I’ve been under my Pastor’s teaching for over half my life. I’ve had everything I struggle with taught to me. I know how to get out of this battle. And yet I feel as if my hands are still tied because of the lies that penetrate my thoughts day in and day out. I know that God has given me the gifts of writing, singing and photography. I know He has given me the gift for writing music. He proved that to me the night before Easter of 2011. The night before, Cary and I met at church and three notes kept coming to me. Close to six hours later, He Did It For One was born. The next day, it was performed. I have such a problem with how my songs that I write, always have the same chords and notes. But if that is what God wants me to do with writing songs, then that’s what I’ll keep doing.
Lately I have been feeling restless, but unable to grab the energy I need to do anything. The desire to teach children again is so heavy. The desire to keep writing and get published is so heavy. The desire to sing and change lives is so so heavy on my heart. The desire to photograph has fallen away from me. I looked at my friend’s photography page last night and that emptiness returned. With having so much debt over me, I can’t do what I want to do with photography.
It’s hard to believe that 2012 is almost over. I wonder how many couples are getting married on 12-12-12. Never again will we have that. This world is changing. Ever since watching Lincoln, I have a bit more respect for the President simply because he truly has the world on his shoulders. Lincoln had a pure heart to free the slaves from that time on. So many didn’t believe in him and his 13th Amendment. He fought for it, he stayed his ground and fought for what he knew was right. Not many believed it would happen. And he never did anything for his own happiness. He knew that in order for freedom to be with the colored people, he had to help them out of their abusive pits. He didn’t care who was against him. He fought for them and he won. He never boasted about it. At the end of that movie, he’s sitting with Ulysses S. Grant and he tells Lincoln that he’s aged 10 years with all the happenings of the Amendment being fought for. He agreed.
I’m truly amazed that I haven’t aged faster with all the stress and hell I’ve endured for so long. I’m still thought to be in my 20s and I’m quite okay with that. In a short five months I’ll be 37. I am having a hard time grasping that scary fact.
With my thoughts on paper, I can probably go to bed now. Just a lot of thoughts that I needed out. I’m going to read now.
But seriously, when we die, that’s it. There is no middle ground. You’re either in Heaven or hell. Both are real places. I guess the question I wish I could ask people, my friends, my family, if they know where they’re going when they die. I have a couple friends who joke about going to hell. I find it very difficult to laugh at that. Simply because I know it’s a real place and that unbelievers go there. I believe that God is a just God and a God of mercy. I truly wish I had a heart like my mom’s and my grandma’s. I wish I could care more about their life and where they’ll go, then my possible mess up in doing just that.
I’ve gone to the same church for nearly 30 years. I’ve been under my Pastor’s teaching for over half my life. I’ve had everything I struggle with taught to me. I know how to get out of this battle. And yet I feel as if my hands are still tied because of the lies that penetrate my thoughts day in and day out. I know that God has given me the gifts of writing, singing and photography. I know He has given me the gift for writing music. He proved that to me the night before Easter of 2011. The night before, Cary and I met at church and three notes kept coming to me. Close to six hours later, He Did It For One was born. The next day, it was performed. I have such a problem with how my songs that I write, always have the same chords and notes. But if that is what God wants me to do with writing songs, then that’s what I’ll keep doing.
Lately I have been feeling restless, but unable to grab the energy I need to do anything. The desire to teach children again is so heavy. The desire to keep writing and get published is so heavy. The desire to sing and change lives is so so heavy on my heart. The desire to photograph has fallen away from me. I looked at my friend’s photography page last night and that emptiness returned. With having so much debt over me, I can’t do what I want to do with photography.
It’s hard to believe that 2012 is almost over. I wonder how many couples are getting married on 12-12-12. Never again will we have that. This world is changing. Ever since watching Lincoln, I have a bit more respect for the President simply because he truly has the world on his shoulders. Lincoln had a pure heart to free the slaves from that time on. So many didn’t believe in him and his 13th Amendment. He fought for it, he stayed his ground and fought for what he knew was right. Not many believed it would happen. And he never did anything for his own happiness. He knew that in order for freedom to be with the colored people, he had to help them out of their abusive pits. He didn’t care who was against him. He fought for them and he won. He never boasted about it. At the end of that movie, he’s sitting with Ulysses S. Grant and he tells Lincoln that he’s aged 10 years with all the happenings of the Amendment being fought for. He agreed.
I’m truly amazed that I haven’t aged faster with all the stress and hell I’ve endured for so long. I’m still thought to be in my 20s and I’m quite okay with that. In a short five months I’ll be 37. I am having a hard time grasping that scary fact.
With my thoughts on paper, I can probably go to bed now. Just a lot of thoughts that I needed out. I’m going to read now.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Lincoln
Somehow I think my friends are going to get tired of hearing me talk about the movie Lincoln. I am hoping with all I have that this movie wins MANY awards. Daniel Day-Lewis and Steven Spielberg did an OUTSTANDING job on this movie. I know that Steven did a HUGE amount of research on Abraham to make this movie what it is. There are parts of it that stand out to me more than others. Although seeing it the second time, I picked up on a few things that I missed. I'm hoping to see it again when my parents go see it. I could see this movie on a daily basis. When it hits DVD, it will be in my collection of DVD's.
The parts that stood out to me the most, were how he loved his son Tad and what a gentle dad he was to him. A friend of mine told me that her only problem with Lincoln was how mean he was to Mary after their son Willie died. My thought on that is, men and women show their emotions so differently and back then, even more so. But in the movie, when Mary breaks down over their son Robert joining the war, Abraham explains to her his grief and how much he suffered right along with her, but he had to be there for her and kept his feelings down. Any parent that loses a child, you know that emotions are going to come out here and there and there may be days that it's better or worse. I believe that Lincoln, as well as Mary, did the best each of them could. I also heard that they did a poll on what President people would want to have watch their children today. The highest number went to Abraham Lincoln. There is a part in the movie where Tad is asleep by the fire and Abraham goes in and lies down next to him, kisses Tad's forehead and he wakes up. He climbs onto the back of his daddy and Lincoln gets up and carries his son to his bed as Tad is asking to see Willie and Linclon telling him gently that they can't, that Willie is gone.
After seeing it for the first time, I came home and attacked Amazon to find what books I could on Lincoln. I put the ones I wanted on my wish list. I only picked out four. I picked The Life of Abraham Lincoln, his biography, The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln and another one that is from the movie. My wonderful friend in Austraila got me a gift card from Amazon and I ordered one of the books. I need to see which one I bought with that one because I want that book now! My mom seems to think I have to wait until Christmas, but I think I should get it now! The one about the Life of him, I have on my phone. But there are so many errors on it and when it comes to reading books, I like to feel them in my hand. The biography of Lincoln is a THICK book! I cannot wait to start reading that one! It will take me a while simply because I want to learn all I can.
The movie is all about the 13th Amendment. It never talks about the things he did for the Deaf world. That is another reason I adore this man.
When I lived in Indiana, we spent a Christmas in Maryland and I was blessed to get to go to Washington D.C. and see the Lincoln Memorial. I have many photos from that trip. I have one of him on the magnetic board I have by my bed. I'm not obsessed with him, it's not that. I'm just so impressed and amazed at what a great man he was. I truly believe he was a born again Christian and because I believe that, I want to believe I will meet him when I get to Heaven!
One thing that really threw me with this movie was how many were AGAINST passing the amendment. And it was the democrats who didn't want to pass it. On the way home after seeing it for the second time, I told my friend that it's amazing how the democrats didn't want slavery to be demolished and yet today, they want a black president. I realize times have changed and perhaps Lincoln would be highly impressed with the fact that we have a black president, but I don't think he would be impressed with how he's choosing to run this country. Lincoln did NOTHING to change the constitution and he said that many times in the movie.
My very favorite line in this movie..."Do you think we choose to be born? Or are we fitted into the times we're born into?
I am so inthralled with this movie and knowing everything I can about Abraham Lincoln surprises me beyond belief. I'm going to end this entry and watch 45 minutes of a Q&A with Steven Spielberg and Daniel Day-Lewis! I'm sorry if this is a boring blog!
The parts that stood out to me the most, were how he loved his son Tad and what a gentle dad he was to him. A friend of mine told me that her only problem with Lincoln was how mean he was to Mary after their son Willie died. My thought on that is, men and women show their emotions so differently and back then, even more so. But in the movie, when Mary breaks down over their son Robert joining the war, Abraham explains to her his grief and how much he suffered right along with her, but he had to be there for her and kept his feelings down. Any parent that loses a child, you know that emotions are going to come out here and there and there may be days that it's better or worse. I believe that Lincoln, as well as Mary, did the best each of them could. I also heard that they did a poll on what President people would want to have watch their children today. The highest number went to Abraham Lincoln. There is a part in the movie where Tad is asleep by the fire and Abraham goes in and lies down next to him, kisses Tad's forehead and he wakes up. He climbs onto the back of his daddy and Lincoln gets up and carries his son to his bed as Tad is asking to see Willie and Linclon telling him gently that they can't, that Willie is gone.
After seeing it for the first time, I came home and attacked Amazon to find what books I could on Lincoln. I put the ones I wanted on my wish list. I only picked out four. I picked The Life of Abraham Lincoln, his biography, The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln and another one that is from the movie. My wonderful friend in Austraila got me a gift card from Amazon and I ordered one of the books. I need to see which one I bought with that one because I want that book now! My mom seems to think I have to wait until Christmas, but I think I should get it now! The one about the Life of him, I have on my phone. But there are so many errors on it and when it comes to reading books, I like to feel them in my hand. The biography of Lincoln is a THICK book! I cannot wait to start reading that one! It will take me a while simply because I want to learn all I can.
The movie is all about the 13th Amendment. It never talks about the things he did for the Deaf world. That is another reason I adore this man.
When I lived in Indiana, we spent a Christmas in Maryland and I was blessed to get to go to Washington D.C. and see the Lincoln Memorial. I have many photos from that trip. I have one of him on the magnetic board I have by my bed. I'm not obsessed with him, it's not that. I'm just so impressed and amazed at what a great man he was. I truly believe he was a born again Christian and because I believe that, I want to believe I will meet him when I get to Heaven!
One thing that really threw me with this movie was how many were AGAINST passing the amendment. And it was the democrats who didn't want to pass it. On the way home after seeing it for the second time, I told my friend that it's amazing how the democrats didn't want slavery to be demolished and yet today, they want a black president. I realize times have changed and perhaps Lincoln would be highly impressed with the fact that we have a black president, but I don't think he would be impressed with how he's choosing to run this country. Lincoln did NOTHING to change the constitution and he said that many times in the movie.
My very favorite line in this movie..."Do you think we choose to be born? Or are we fitted into the times we're born into?
I am so inthralled with this movie and knowing everything I can about Abraham Lincoln surprises me beyond belief. I'm going to end this entry and watch 45 minutes of a Q&A with Steven Spielberg and Daniel Day-Lewis! I'm sorry if this is a boring blog!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Why I Write
In the world of writers, I'm sure that each one has a different reason for being a writer. There are those who write to help others. And there are those who enjoy writing sci-fi, horror, romance, comedy, truth...so many different reasons as to why. Stephen King, his writings are often written about things in his past that has happened to him and just added more to it to make it scary. His Memoir is an excellent read. That is the only book I own of his. I'm not into horror books nor movies.
My sole reason for writing is, it releases the feelings I have deep within myself. Those are the pieces I don't always share, due to the content of the piece. I only reveal parts of me that I feel are safe. My other writing that I do, I often find inspiration from the things in the world around me. One day while driving through Salem, I saw an older lady, and she could have been older looking due to her living and life circumstances, pushing a shopping cart full of her belongings with a comforter type blanket resting on top of her things. It wasn't the most beautiful of days either. That picture stayed in the front of my mind until I was able to get to my computer.
A few months ago, I was at a restaurant with a friend. There was an elderly man sitting in the booth behind ours. I was sitting to face this man, my friend's back was to him. As he sat there, alone, he put his hands together and stared out the window. His hands looked as if he had many years of hard labor behind him. I took a picture of my "friend" and took one of him. A few weeks later, I looked at his picture and words came to me.
On Halloween, while waiting for trick or treaters to come to the door, I was watching a show on women who are on death row. One of the women they inviewed, she told about her cell and how all she has is a toilet/sink combo, a bed and a window. I took my phone out and started to write the words that were forming in my mind. After I got home, I sat down at my computer and wrote a piece. I read it in my writing class and they had a suggestion for one word. I was pleased.
Last week I shared a poem I had written in 2006. I was watching CSI Miami and Horatio Caine had just gotten married to his beautiful bride. As they're exiting the building, a shot rings out and his new bride is killed by a bullet to the head. My heart broke. I wrote a poem entitled But For A Moment.
So as you can see, I'm a writer for a couple different reasons. I write to release the stress in my life and I write in 3rd person, putting myself in their shoes and looking at the world through their eyes. I may have it all wrong, and that's okay, I just write what I feel. I'm not sure any writer has apologized for what they write, so I won't either. Just like I don't read horror, maybe others don't want to read what I write. That's okay. I'm not writing for anyone but myself. And if others can relate, or are moved or can become more empathetic because of what I write, then I have done what I was set out to do.
My sole reason for writing is, it releases the feelings I have deep within myself. Those are the pieces I don't always share, due to the content of the piece. I only reveal parts of me that I feel are safe. My other writing that I do, I often find inspiration from the things in the world around me. One day while driving through Salem, I saw an older lady, and she could have been older looking due to her living and life circumstances, pushing a shopping cart full of her belongings with a comforter type blanket resting on top of her things. It wasn't the most beautiful of days either. That picture stayed in the front of my mind until I was able to get to my computer.
A few months ago, I was at a restaurant with a friend. There was an elderly man sitting in the booth behind ours. I was sitting to face this man, my friend's back was to him. As he sat there, alone, he put his hands together and stared out the window. His hands looked as if he had many years of hard labor behind him. I took a picture of my "friend" and took one of him. A few weeks later, I looked at his picture and words came to me.
On Halloween, while waiting for trick or treaters to come to the door, I was watching a show on women who are on death row. One of the women they inviewed, she told about her cell and how all she has is a toilet/sink combo, a bed and a window. I took my phone out and started to write the words that were forming in my mind. After I got home, I sat down at my computer and wrote a piece. I read it in my writing class and they had a suggestion for one word. I was pleased.
Last week I shared a poem I had written in 2006. I was watching CSI Miami and Horatio Caine had just gotten married to his beautiful bride. As they're exiting the building, a shot rings out and his new bride is killed by a bullet to the head. My heart broke. I wrote a poem entitled But For A Moment.
So as you can see, I'm a writer for a couple different reasons. I write to release the stress in my life and I write in 3rd person, putting myself in their shoes and looking at the world through their eyes. I may have it all wrong, and that's okay, I just write what I feel. I'm not sure any writer has apologized for what they write, so I won't either. Just like I don't read horror, maybe others don't want to read what I write. That's okay. I'm not writing for anyone but myself. And if others can relate, or are moved or can become more empathetic because of what I write, then I have done what I was set out to do.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Seeing Life Through Different Eyes: Wallpaper
Seeing Life Through Different Eyes: Wallpaper: This morning while lying in bed, I decided to change the wallpaper on my phone. With the current mood I'm in, I decided to look under Abstra...
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